The day I began my journey to Scotland, I’d moved into a new apartment, submitted the very last of my assignments and gotten absolutely no sleep. So, of course in true journalistic fashion, I was completely and utterly fuelled by my trusty sidekick - coffee. At some point, my circulatory system was more caffeine than blood. I’d consumed at least 13,000 cups after all. For the next 30 hours, I was on a plane, travelling from Brisbane to Abu Dhabi to Dublin and finally to Edinburgh. This time was peppered with eating several slices of fantastically rich-in-saturated-fats pizza, trying to keep my eyes open when walking down long corridors and another 3,000 cups of coffee.
Despite all the drawbacks of the journey, during some dreamlike state it dawned on how lucky I was to have the opportunity to travel to one of the most beautiful countries in the world. And how I fully intended to take full advantage of the opportunity. So off I went to Edinburgh Castle with its tragic and gruesome history and then came the exploration of the rest of Edinburgh. There was a great vinyl store near Royal Mile and vintage stores in Old Town and so many other things I’d only seen on Tumblr aesthetic pages. It was impossible not to think about the history that was beneath every footsteps, under every touch, even in the night sky when the sun mercifully set around 10:30. Pitlochry, Inverness and of course, the incomparable Isle of Skye were visited too, with jetlag, dark circles and shoving things into suitcases at the last minute as constant companions.
During my journey to and in Scotland, I’ve seen acts of kindness that somehow, restored the part of me that believes in the goodness of humanity. For someone like me this was eye-opening. Those of us who grew up in a country where it is quite literally survival of the fittest, you develop a sort of cynicism to protect yourself. Pessimistic thinking starts working its way through your head and then you start to question the ulterior motive behind every word and action. There was a woman in the Dublin airport who’d shared her crisps, a man in Edinburgh who offered to help me carry a family pack of water bottles about one kilometre, a tour guide at Neist point who stopped on his way up the daunting Craig to ask if I was alright. People were so genuinely kind in Scotland and I still don’t know what to make of it.
That was also the case in all the people I met at the Future News Worldwide trip. Whether they were from Jordan or Croatia and we were bonding over the kinds of food in our countries, whether they were from South Africa, Botswana or Sudan and we were talking about the effects of colonisation on our countries, whether they were from Bulgaria and we were discussing the severe dehydration and lack of sitting arrangements during the first night at the conference – each and everyone was kind.This helped me quite significantly, given the fact I’m not a person who’s very confident in their abilities. I have my doubts. I have my insecurities. Sometimes they come out in darker shades than I intend. But I’ve always been able to translate that into my writing so I can’t hate my flaws. But being selected from 2,500 people from around the whole world helped me to believe in myself. But being in the company of so many young and talented people was the biggest blessing of this program. One of my favourite parts of the conference was definitely the delegate panels on Day 3. Hearing from my fellow young journalists about the problems they face in their countries and their specific niche of journalism, not only informed me but gave me the opportunity to see things from a completely different perspective.
Seeing that many perspectives as well, from so many young people, really warmed my heart. It was something I could never even dream of. As a Bangladeshi, I was taught that because I am young, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I lack experience. I haven’t lived enough of life. Therefore, my dreams should always be realistic. Even though I grew up with relatively liberal parents, my society taught me I should only reach for what I’m sure I can grasp. And then settle for it. Failure was also never seen as a part of success. Failure could never even fathom being in the equation.
As such, there was always an underlying current of disbelief flowed throughout my entire trip to Scotland. I never even fathomed being selected. Then, when the confirmation came through, I didn’t have enough time to ponder on the journey I was to embark on. And even when I was surrounded by history that was hundreds of years old, even when I stepped into the Scottish Parliament that first night, even when I was sat in front of Catherine Girechu and Carrie Gracie and David Pratt, I did not believe it. My reaction was a result of my unkindness to myself. And Future News Worldwide taught me that I shouldn’t be. The British Council believed I was capable and when I was handing out my first business cards to some of the speakers, I could see they believed it too. They believed I was tenacious and intelligent and what I lacked in talent, I could make up with hard work. And that belied in me, that kindness, was something I needed very much.
Now more than ever, kindness is what we all need. And this conference was a perfect example of it. In a world that tries so desperately to separate us, we came together instead.
